shove those brooms up your asses!

*****Cubs Rant Alert, Cubs Rant Alert*****

The Cubs are swept away in three games at historic and yet doomed Yankee Stadium....Derek Jeter hits his FIRST career grand slam....Cubs pitchers battered around like a well-dressed white guy in the Bronx at 3am.....

have I mentioned lately THAT I FUCKING HATE THE GODDAMN NEW YORK YANKEES!!!!!!!

forgot one

*****Cubs Rant Alert, Cubs Rant Alert*****

I need to add one more to my list of people who should be lined up and shot....Chicaco White Sox designated moron...er..hitter Carl Everett. This world class idiot was interviewed by that paragon of journalistic virtue, Maxim magazine. There was a short blurb in the Chicago Tribune (god how I love the glorious Tribune...please forgive me, I must kiss up to the corporate owners of my Cubs).
Everett is quoted as saying such asinine statements such as dinosaurs never existed because they were not mentioned in the Bible (WHAT?!!!! there are friggin skeletons you can look at!! take a trip to the Field Museum fuckface!) and that gay marriage, not to mention just homosexuality itself, is wrong..also because it is not in the "Good" book. He also says that steroids aren't that big a deal (hmm...might he be on some?) because "we'll still lose more kids to a war than we will from steroids." umm...Carl? not alot of little leaguers are being mowed down by Iraqi insurgents.
I can live with all this ridiculous stuff...there are small minded people everywhere, especially on the roster of a big league baseball team.
What I can't live with is his quotes on both baseball fans and baseball heaven itself, Wrigley Field. First he dismisses baseball fans and says that 99% of fans have no idea what they are looking at. excuse me? that's a good way to shore up the fan base....even those drooling mongoloid White Sox fans.
He then adds the icing to his bullshit cake by saying that Wrigley Field is the WORST stadium in the majors and that "They need to implode Wrigley." wow....words cannot do justice to my hatred of my new least favorite athlete. I will not bother to defend Wrigley against his idiotic claims (read my Defense of Wrigley Field on this very blog for that). I just want to say....Carl, before you say anything, people who live in giant, shitty glass stadiums shouldn't throw rocks. So get against the wall please.
and this is reason 1,999,999 for hating the Chicago White Sox.

line 'em up

Adam's top 10 list of people who should be shot: (with an assist from my equally hateful brother Brandon)

10. people who talk on their cell phones while at a cash register (get off the goddamn phone and pay already)
9. guys on their cell phones behind homeplate (get your ass up so I can sit there and call them from my nosebleed seats)
8. conservative radio hosts (self explanatory)
7. strangers who try to talk to you in the bathroom (NO NO NO!!! it's simply not done)
6. ugly chicks who think they're hot (and I mean girls even Ralph and Corey would shoot down)
5. kids who beg for baseballs at a game (look...I get that kids are always going to get the balls from players and such...even though I never did as a kid! but the little fucks who keep begging for them ESPECIALLY AFTER THEY ALREADY HAVE AT LEAST ONE should just be killed...harsh but necessary)
4. people who don't use turn signals (they're not optional dumbass!!!! you can't tell your dealer that you don't need the turn signal package)
3. slow walkers...especially when you're in a hurry (I don't want to spend half my miserable life just getting to where I need to go, why should you?)
2. old people....for a million reasons (just fucking die already and save social security)
1. and the number one group of people who should just be put against the wall...drivers who just sit there when the goddamn light is green!!!! GO ALREADY!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!

bonus group: guys who are not nearly as funny on their blogs as they think and say annoying things like "not that there's anything wrong with that" repeatedly when it's not actually funny (for anyone and everyone I have probably offended)

Queer Eye for the WSJP Guys

wow.....way to go Chach and Stiga for the marvelous timing for our WSJP jaunt to Toronto. It just happens to fall on the same weekend as Toronto's gay Pride Week. (not that there's anything wrong with that) Stellar advance planning there, gentleman. As the mission statement reads
"Pride Toronto exists to host and coordinate Pride Week, an annual mosaic of cultural events in Toronto that celebrates, empowers and supports the diverse and delightful community of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex and queer people." (not that there's anything wrong with that)
sounds like a party! Corey will now feel right at home with our fashionably dressed neighbors to the North. And Chach....well, everyone saw how the Emperor in Star Wars manipulated everyone and everything around him, behind the scenes, to create his Evil Empire....that is not unlike what Chach has done with this Toronto trip. I'm onto you my friend. As I was telling Joe, I wonder now that if every bar in the city will become a de facto gay bar. (not that there's anything wrong with that) Oh well...should still be a great (and hilarious) time. And on the bright side, the single guys in the group might now have a better shot with straight Canadian hotties. (definitely nothing wrong with that!)


To further distance myself from the ever growing gayness of some WSJP factions (not that there's anything wrong with that) I have included this link to a sexy video of a pie fight between Mary Ann and Ginger on TNT's Real Gilligan's Island. Make sure to watch the extended director's cut only viewable between 10pm and 5am.(probably something very wrong with that)

God Save the Queen

More proof that I was born in the wrong country and that I'm really a misplaced Englishman.....

"Being English, I tend to enjoy going down to the pub far more than going to the gym, so it was very unnatural for me. I just had to convince myself that I loved it, which was the most difficult thing about playing this part. Working out is incredibly boring. I swear its true that the bigger your muscles get, the fewer brain cells you have. I found I had to stop thinking when I was in the gym because if I thought about it, I'd realize how ridiculous it was that I was pumping iron when I could've been out having a drink and a cigarette and enjoying some lunch."
-Christian Bale (thanks to the girl for the quote)

and an actual (I think) quote from the aforementioned girl: "If someone came to you and said they would make you English you would say yes in a heartbeat."

she's right....

the true me...sort of

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's the True You?