slightly funny email

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair
Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with
That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All
Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go.'

Where Have you Gone Albert Spalding?

*****Cubs Rant Alert, Cubs Rant Alert*****

from the WGN baseball blog:

129 Years And Counting

On April 25, 1876, the Cubs played the first game in franchise history, winning at Louisville 4-0. The White Stockings (as the team was initially known until 1894) were managed by Hall of Famer Albert Spalding, who tossed the shutout that day. Spalding is also credited with the first hit in franchise history.

* The team went 52-14 in their first season (25-6 at home, 27-8 on the road, and 52-14 in day games).

* The Cubs are the only team of the original 8 charter members of the National League to operate continuously in one city.

* The 1876 Opening Day lineup:

2B Ross Barnes
3B Cap Anson
1B Calvin McVey
CF Paul Hines
P Albert Spalding
RF Bob Addy
C Deacon White
SS Johnny Peters
LF John Glenn

* Going into tonight, the franchise's all-time record is 9,764-9,212.

Niners picks

The 2005 NFL draft picks of the San Francisco 49ers....please God let them help the Niners out of the horrible abyss usually reserved for deserving local losers like the Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions.

1st round: QB Alex Smith (Utah) hopefully the next Hall of Fame 49ers QB

2nd round: C/G David Baas (Michigan)

3rd round: RB Frank Gore (Miami, FL)
G Adam Snyder (Oregon)

5th round: DT Ronald Fields (Mississippi St.)
WR Rasheed Marshall (West Virginia) an ex-QB project

6th round: CB Derrick Johnson (Washington)

7th round: CB Daven Holly (Cincinnati)
WR Marcus Maxwell (Oregon)
TE Patrick Estes (Virginia)
TE Billy Bajema (Oklahoma St.)

side note: Jacksonville in the 7th round picked CB Chris Roberson from Eastern Michigan University!!!

thanks a lot Mia!!!

*****Cubs Rant Alert, Cubs Rant Alert*****

Wednesday night started as a great night. Cheryl, Brandon, Rob, Amanda and I all went to the Hens game and all had a great time...other than it being football weather. The Hens won a 1-0 pitchers duel and there is NOTHING I love more than a great pitchers duel, even one in AAA. We even sat behind high school jailbait...so we should've thought to invite Corey. :-) And then while I was in the Swamp Shop buying yet another Mud Hens shirt (I believe my 6th) my dad called from my mother's hospital room to tell me the Cubs were beating the evil St. Louis Cardinals 2-0. I would also get home in time to watch most of the game. Things were going well.
Then as I was driving away from UT where I dropped R+A off I got the word from dad that the Cubs were still up 2-0...BUT....Cubs SS Nomar Garciaparra collapsed onto the field after pulling a groin. I raced home to watch a bitter-sweet Cubs victory over the inbred Cards.
Well in typical Cubs curse fashion..word came out yesterday that Nomar tore his groin, actually tore it from the bone (OUCH!) and will miss 2-3 months at least, maybe the season. Now the Cubs are stuck with career benchsitters in their middle infield. The apparently disheartened Cubs lost 4-0 the next day and were rained out today at a suddenly very gloomy Wrigley Field.
But oh well...I'm not going to complain that much about an injury, they happen...it sucks but its part of baseball. Even has to happen to great, classy players like Nomar. Just look at what Griffey Jr. has had to endure the last five years.
The worst part of all this, beyond the loss of his season or to the Cubs offense, is that this terrible groin pull will prevent Nomar from having sex with his hot wife with the world-class soccer ass Mia Hamm! Poor guy...that hurts (though maybe that's what caused this anyway)

thanks Joe

Hey all....couldn't think of anything at all to write again...so I blatantly stole from Joe's blog this time. Hope you don't mind too much. These are pretty good though. later!

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

umm...say that again?

Actual things uttered or seen in the Tharpe household as Pop, Chief and I watched the Reds vs. the Cardinals on tv tonight.

- the broadcast had a graphic showing a Reds player who had hit into a double play earlier in the game (it was shortened to DP as it usually is)

Brandon: "He hit into a double penetration?"....apparently someone is watching too much porn lately

- as the Cardinals have the bases loaded with one out and the Card's pitcher at the plate:

Brandon: "I'll french kiss the dog if he gets a double!"

the Cardinals pitcher proceeds to hit a shot down the first base line into the corner to the immense laughter and yelling of Dad and I...but alas, he made it to third with a triple and Mac the Dog had to be disappointed

- proving just what an intellectual city Cincinnati, Ohio is.. Fox Ohio showed numerous shots of the front of the jersey of the Reds' pitcher Aaron Harang and the word Cincinnati WAS SPELLED WRONG!!! it was missing the first vowel!...but atleast they have the world's best ribs

- this led to a typical dorky Dad quiz of cities that are difficult to spell..I of course came up with Ypsilanti, MI which I then proved by Brandon spelling it wrong....BUT, just to make this a fair blog, I then proceeded to correct him by spelling it incorrectly myself....while Dad and he laughed hilariously

funny stuff....that's why I love being here most of the time...some of the more hilarious moments of my life have happened right under this roof

hope for spellers like Chach

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

thumping in the desert

*****Cubs Rant Alert, Cubs Rant Alert*****

Wow....what a way to start the 2005 season!! The Cubs beat the Arizona Diamondbacks tonight 16-6 under that inexplicably closed roof tonight. Not just beat them...I mean the Cubs beat them like a baby seal! Just look at the stats below for the hitters as they belted out 16 runs on 23 hits!!! They even drilled two deep homeruns even though they didn't need them. Aramis Ramirez was on fire on the day he got a fat new contract extension with a homer and 4 RBIs. The best part of this opening game was the fear all spring long of the Cubs not getting enough offense now that Sosa and Alou are gone, and that they can't play small ball. And though obviously one game out of 162 means nothing, I am happy to see they didn't need Sosa and that they were up 10-2 before they even homered.

Chicago Cubs
Hitters AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
C Patterson CF 5 2 3 2 1 1 0 .600
T Walker 2B 4 2 3 1 0 0 0 .750
a-J Hairston Jr PH-2B 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000
N Garciaparra SS 5 2 2 2 0 1 2 .400
N Perez SS 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
A Ramirez 3B 4 4 3 4 1 0 1 .750
C Bartosh P 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1.000
T Wellemeyer P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
J Burnitz RF 6 1 3 0 0 3 2 .500
D Lee 1B 6 2 4 5 0 1 2 .667
T Hollandsworth LF 4 1 1 0 0 1 3 .250
J Dubois LF 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1.000
M Barrett C 5 0 1 1 0 0 1 .200
C Zambrano P 3 1 1 0 0 1 0 .333
G Rusch P 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
b-J Macias PH-3B 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000
Totals 49 16 23 15 2 8 13

BATTING
2B: C Zambrano (1, J Vazquez); A Ramirez (1, J Vazquez); D Lee 2 (2, B Halsey, J Vazquez)
HR: D Lee (1, 6th inning off G Aquino 2 on, 0 Out); A Ramirez (1, 7th inning off B Halsey 1 on, 2 Out)
RBI: N Garciaparra 2 (2), D Lee 5 (5), C Patterson 2 (2), A Ramirez 4 (4), T Walker (1), M Barrett (1)
2-out RBI: D Lee, T Walker, A Ramirez, C Patterson