still GW's bitch...

Adam's Thesis Song (to be song to the tune of the Lambchop song) and yes...I may be the ONLY person who remembers it

This is the thesis that never ends,
Yes it goes on and on, my friend.
I started writing it, not knowing what is was,
And I'll continue writing it forever,
Just because...
This is the thesis that never ends...


So my thesis continues on...to wreck my days and haunt my nights. I spend a month and and half writing and shaping and writing and drinking and writing and stressing and writing and not sleeping...oh, and writing. And I finally feel like I have the thing very much done and set (with just a defense and minor adjustments to make before graduation on Saturday). I was very happy with my work and quite proud of what I had accomplished...after all, I had written a well researched, thoughtful 100 page thesis in a month...
the only thing I worried about was some innane paperwork I had to get signed and turned it which I took care of easily yesterday...too easily actually, anything that is that easy at UT will only end up as a disaster
an epic poem could be written about the incompetence of the University of Toledo and the souls it destroys...I even hear it makes people unfunny :-)

but I was feeling very very good last night...even went out for drinks with Rob and Amanda and Rob's cool priest friend Alan

And then I came home and checked my email. My advisor had sent my her comments on my latest final revisions (ah grad school)...and they were pretty bad. She kinda took me to task for a number of reasons. There were the minor changes I expected...and major changes about my writing, research and the major arguments of my thesis. many of which she had never mentioned before! and a day and half before my committee defense. she suggested an extension from the grad school and finishing all these changes this week and next week...while still walking and technically "graduating" on saturday.
suffice it to say, I was not a happy, exhausted grad student. I may have thrown some books and papers around. I may also have repeatedly beaten my worthless mattress with a baseball bat until I tired myself out. (yes I know, "it's called anger management, Adam" but I will give myself credit for having enough sense of mind to hit the bed instead of...say my computer, or the dog.)

after sleep and a discussion with my ever-calm Pop, I do realize that she wants me to write something that is as good as I can possibly make it (even though no one will ever read the damned thing). and I don't want to turn in anything that is less than my best work, I owe it to myself after all this work and all these wasted years. but it'll be a VERY long week.....and it will make graduation, which I was starting to really be proud of, feel pretty hollow...