knowledge brings fear

Hey all. I hope all is well with everyone....all two of you that actually read this useless thing anyway. Sorry I've resorted to so many gimmicks just to post on here lately. I am not sure what to write (a common complaint of mine) and I seem to be retreating even more into my mind lately.
I haven't been sleeping very well at all. I'm not sure what it is, its been going on for weeks now. Very restless sleep, where I wake up a half dozen times over the night and just lie there. My bed is godawful and uncomfortable...could be part of it (thanks to Jen I have atleast a decent pillow for once). But my bed has always sucked and I use to sleep like a baby. I'm just restless. As a result I am much grumpier during the days....even more than I normally would be. I have a sharp, sarcastic humor...but it has a new mean edge lately that I don't really intend it to have. I worry I might be turning into someone I don't like.
And I don't know if you've ever felt this way before, but I almost keep expecting something to happen. I have no idea what, it could either be good or bad. But I have this sense that something critical to my life is going to happen soon. But I have no earthly idea what it will mean or when it might come. Its really hard to describe. I think I welcome it though...I've been living in this weird state of limbo for the last three years. It would be nice to have SOMETHING happen....I think. I want to know what will happen to my life, though it kinda scares the hell out of me. (the post title is from Futurama, it was the motto of a college...makes me laugh and very appropriate to this post) I don't know, its a very unsettling feeling and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it. Its not that I'm unhappy or anything, far from it. In fact things have been better than they have been for years lately, for obvious reasons. I know I just need to get all this goddamn work done so I can atleast get my MA done and then figure out what to do with my life.
Hell, maybe this is just all silly birthday depression come a few weeks early. In that case please just tell me to shut the hell up. Anyway, things will be better as soon as I'm sitting in Section 106 Row 7 Seat 20 watching the Hens charge onto that green grass. :-) yeah yeah I know...addict. ok, enough whining. later!

Adam's good songs: "Yellow" -Coldplay


Great quote from Futurama (Jen will appreciate this): "Please, Fry, I'm a professor, I don't know how to teach!"