finally, impartial (kinda) thoughts on The Game

Ok, its that time of the year...time for The Game between the University of Michigan and THE Ohio State University (just for you JM!) Seeing as this year's game pits #1 vs. #2 this game is being hyped as the biggest game in the history of the Universe. Problem is...I don't really care, and there are millions of college football fans that could care less as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the game (I even asked off at the hellhole...bookstore for it) and I do recognize it as the single greatest rivalry in college football (followed by Army/Navy for coolness factor) and perhaps the best rivalry in all of sports. But being a fan of neither school, and often being quite annoyed with both something is lost on me.

That being said, I do usually root for Ohio State this week as my distaste for UM knows no bounds. Perhaps this stems from an inferiority complex about going to an often-mediocre commuter school just up the road from Ann Arbor. Or perhaps it has to do with my irrational hatred of the UM Marching Band learned through 4 years of service in the Eastern MB (the Pride of the Peninsula!) Anyway, I've never really thought in-depth about the rivalry and what I think of the two schools compared to each other. That's what I will now do....with the hidden wish that I say enough to have Ohio State AND Michigan fans hate me!! Ok here goes: (please limit hate mail to blog comments)

Campus:

Ohio State: located in pretty cool Columbus, Ohio. Decent enough campus with a nice central mall area and some nice architecture. I'll admit to not seeing as much of OSU's campus and others.

Michigan: located in very cool Ann Arbor, Michigan. Sprawling campus that is often tough to separate from the city around it. But very excellent buildings and some very beautiful areas around campus (especially near the law school if I remember).

Advantage: Michigan (slight edge that would be more if I knew exactly where the hell campus stopped and Ann Arbor begins)



College town: cause everyone knows how much I love a good college town!

Ohio State: not sure they really have one. I like Columbus very much but in my visits to Ohio State I have never seen a cool bar area where students can hang out. And frankly, the area around campus is kinda scary and ghetto.

Michigan: the very textbook example of what a college town should look like. I have seen few that are cooler. Though the yuppie/pretentious factor is pretty high in that town.

Advantage: Michigan (huge)



Academics:

Ohio State: from what I understand they have some very good programs, including a very strong History Grad school (hey its my analysis!) that I could not get into. But the rest of the school is easier to get into than some MAC schools (go ahead with hate comment #1 , Jenny M!) And only marginally better than some MAC schools and maybe not as good as some.

Michigan: only one of the best schools in the country (and the world apparently, since you can't swing a dead cat without hitting an Asian math student). Now I want to hit those idiots that claim Harvard is the UM of the East. UM will never be Harvard...but I'll admit its pretty damn close. Not only could I not get into the grad school, I couldn't even get accepted as an undergrad! (though apparently no white male can)

Advantage: another huge UM win (don't stop reading, Buckeye fans...I'll be trashing your enemy soon enough)

ok, ok...lets get to what people really care about..

Football stadiums:

Ohio State: been to one game at the Horseshoe with Jill. I was VERY impressed with the stadium and the grandeur of the place (its no Rynearson Stadium but its nice). Its a very impressive place and very cool looking all the way around. Was kinda cramped in my seat but with 100,000 people I guess thats expected.

Michigan: been to a few games at the Big House....hated every single experience! I hate Michigan Stadium. Its a old, cramped nightmare that takes you 2 quarters to get down into your seats, b/c the whole place is underground (fitting for hell) The seats aren't actually designed for people. The only time I had a decent seat is when I sat on the field with the EMU MB. For all its hype, I found it a very unimpressive, underwhelming place to watch football. And just for the record, when UM is not doing well, the place sounds like Eastern's library on a Sat night.

Advantage: Ohio State (not even close)



Marching Bands:

Ohio State: simple...they're not called The Best Damn Band In The Land for nothing. I've seen alot of marching bands and been in a very good one (it was dammit!) and I have seen none that are even close to Ohio State's MB. And Script Ohio....simply the best college football tradition around, nothing compares. And bonus points for the beautiful and haunting alma mater "Carmen Ohio" which is my second favorite alma mater, after Eastern's own "Our Pledge". They have a decent enough fight song, catchy and all....though points taken away for having two fightsongs and playing them interchangeably. Not even sure which is actually the fightsong!

Michigan: this one was over as soon as it started. UM has maybe the most overrated college band in the nation. They're not particularly good, they are not known for anything at all...except that insipid "Go Blue" which is now played by every high school band in America. No tradition except for playing as the team comes out of a tunnel under that banner....every other team in football does something like that. And the most annoying fight song around, the dreaded "Hail to the Victors" or whatever name is used for it. Dreadful, even though most people love that noise. As my old Eastern director would say over and over, "It doesn't even have a countermelody! everyone plays the same thing"..boring.

Advantage: TBDBITL in a landslide

Fans:

Ohio State: umm...frightening. I'll go ahead and admire their fierce and absolute loyalty to the Buckeyes. But...they take this whole fan thing to near scary obsession levels. They do pack the Horseshoe and are always into the game...but I wouldn't want to meet a few of them in a Columbus alley after a game. I once saw an effigy of John Navarre hanging outside a Columbus house...for John Navarre...really?! And the car flipping, fire-starting, rioting thing? OSU fans take this rivalry much farther than UM fans and someone should explain to me why that is. Inferiority complex, perhaps?

Michigan: pretty good fans...even though they are sometimes rather uppity and pretentious. And as I stated before, the Big House gets rather quiet much of the time, nowhere near the enthusiasm as Buckeye games. But umm...they don't scare the living hell out of me.

Advantage: Michigan (stop flipping cars, Columbus)

Misc. useless stuff I'm throwing together to end this:

Ohio State: named after a....nut. Gray and scarlet uniforms. Those annoying pride sticker things on their helmets.

Michigan: named after..umm..some kind of beaver or cat or something? Maize (is this actually a color?) and blue uniforms. Those silly stripes things on their helmets.

Advantage: Michigan....blue and yellow are better colors, and they're not named after a nut or a peanut butter candy.

ok....so there we go. I have now successfully alienated everyone I know. Sweet! And as I figured before I started this lovefest I tend to favor UM as a university over Ohio State and favor the Buckeyes (really their band) over Michigan. Please feel free to leave categories I may have left off. And please, no threatening my family (ahem, JM), just leave your hatred for me....an impartial observer of The Game...who now has fewer friends!