a Kent Carol

Jen and I went to Kent State on monday to see a flute recital by her old flute prof. We had a pretty good time actually, got to eat at the place with my favorite guacamole. I saw a bum named Bingo Bob or something who regularly comes to musical performances at Kent and draws people in the audience with markers. And the guy in front of me looked just like the commissioner of baseball from the back. Jen drove me all around campus and downtown Kent, which is a real college town unlike Ypsilanti, MI. I've been there before, but the campus is much nicer than I remember. Got to see all of the 150 places where she lived in 5 years of college and where all the crazy stories happened.


Anyway the point of this post is that I seem to have developed a conscience since Monday night..in part anyway. On the way out of town we stopped at the May 4 shooting site and memorial. Now I've been there before when Brandon was looking at KSU but this was a dark, cool, windy night. It was truly haunting...seeing those eerie lit markers over the 4 spots in the parking lot where the students fell. Especially the one over the exact spot where the famous picture was took..the one I was laughing at three weeks ago. You can see the markers in the picture here. Like Ebenezer Scrooge in a Christmas Carol I've seen what a cad I've been. Now undoubtedly I'll be made fun of for this, or I'll be accused of just trying to suck up to my gf who went to Kent. And I don't really care if people think I'm an ass. I have an odd sense of humor, everyone knows that. But I can't joke about the shootings anymore after being in that place, looking at those lights marking where those people died. Seeing where the national guard was standing and firing into a crowd of students. I spent much of last night researching May 4 itself since I didn't know too much. I know I sound like a pussy but I was moved and I cannot make jokes about something like that. Oh I'm not going to change my whole personality or anything. Just no more dead hippie jokes.

Next week: I find God.....or not